hurt so bad

哭了 才發現自己真的受傷了
你曾對我說 你永遠是我的
為了愛情 我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快樂 我就快樂

也許 是我們彼此都太年輕了
就是特別容易 沉溺在愛情裏
每當 我再次看到身邊美麗的花火
你也離開我 我還是想對你說

Baby I Love You So Much
你走了 我的心在淌血
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad
想要你回到 我的世界

Baby I Love You So Much
你給我的諾言 已經瓦解
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad
只要我們都愛著 無論多苦都值得
說好的 你怎么麼忘記了

也許 是我們彼此都太年輕了
就是特別容易 沉溺在愛情裏
每當 我再次看到身邊美麗的花火
你也離開我 我還是想對你說

Baby I Love You So Much
你走了 我的心在淌血
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad
想要你回到 我的世界

Baby I Love You So Much
你給我的諾言 已經瓦解
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad
只要我們都愛著 無論多苦都值得
說好的 你怎么麼忘記了

Very touching song, kinda fits my mood now. HAHA

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The Promise

This Promise

The sparkle in your eye
Every time it meets mine
Just let me see
God’s perfect design

The warmth of your hands
Every time you touch mine
Leaves an imprint in my mind
You could never comprehend

The hug you give
Affectionate and tender
Moves something inside me
Something deep within

The love so sweet
Your feelings so real
And my heart desires nothing more
Than just your LOVE that’s truly Faithful & Pure.

the grass is greener on the other side

I it always begins with a I, as we all know the Team does not have I in it but it does have “ME”. It is the same for every relationships, why are people always rushing into one when they are unable to understand the implications that it brings? As singles we are so used to think about ourselves, the self-centered nature is in built in us ever since birth. Getting into a relationship would mean that you would have to become a team player.

Of course i am not condemning couples who are already in a relationship. But instead condemning the singles who are vividly holding on the the relishing thought of self-centered thinking. For me currently i am in a relationship, and as i get along further in this relationship i am beginning to see things that i would not normally see at the start. But as always their good points are enough to overpower the flaws.

IS it the fear of FLAWS that hinders you? i believe everyone has flaws, EVERYONE, it is the heart to willing to accept this ingrown flaw that would open you eyes to the wonderful things that are taking place in every relationship. If you are in a relationship, your partner choose you for a reason. So ask yourself deeply what is the reason you choose her as your partner?

For me it is simple, i do not want some who’s who girl, i do not want the prettiest nor do i want the smartest. She does not need to constantly try to impress people, nor do i need someone who is lovable or cheerful with a beautiful smile that beams like the sun or tears that could flood the world. I just want a simple girl, who relish most is the time we spend together.

What is a “simple girl” ? Looks are not important when it boils down to a simple girl, tell me how many of you think that you would still be wearing mascara, eye liner, foundation in your 60s? Looks never LAST, i do not admire the superficial. But it is understandable why young girls want to look pretty, it is this pop culture that we are living in that is polluting the minds. What is the trill of a short skirt? or a low cut cleavage showing top? it all only attracts unwanted attention. A simple girl would smell like sunshine in the morning, and look the most beautiful when she just wakes up from bed. no make up can ever give that effect. Who would look her best even in the most haggard looking clothing.

For my other half, she is far from a simpleton girl, there are traits that i am looking for in a girl and traits that i would detest. But that is where understanding and tolerance comes in, i cannot tell you how many times she has her mood swings or how many times she has been unbearable. But our flame is still strong and looking back i have no regrets when i thought in the past where “the grass is greener on the other side”. Right now my grass is sure greener.

It is the same thing with the love of a mum. Countless times i am guilty of causing a tiff in the family and showing disrespect, but my mum still loves me. But the love of a mother is nothing that can be compared and ever be challenged. It is this care and concern that a mother has for their child and wanting the best for them that would drive and motivate them to probe and ask. But sometimes it is this overly concern for their children that would spark any unwanted conversations and small tiff. On that note i would like to apologise to my mum over the years for all the heartbreaks i have caused, i love you mum.

PS : i hate it when people come up to me and ask so how is it between you and your girlfriend or the other day you made your gf angry how is it? Sometimes it would be parents sometimes it would be friends, i do find it irksome sometimes. So a common reply that i have for these questions are “LoL, HaHa, ok and yeah”. i am sorry if i did not entertain your questions, you might have caught me in a foul mood.

My take on V’day…

Many people find Valentine’s day overrated, flowers, presents and a dinner. They never really take valentine’s day into deep consideration and they would just spend it like every other day. Because the ultimate winner in the end are the flower shop and the diners. People who have got their own valentine would pretty much make the most out of it and the singles would spend time either on their own forgetting that this is valentine day or would pretty much spend time with their friends.

Well this year for me valentine day is no different, i am of course spending it with my special someone. But beneath the surface this really is just another day, the very same reason why people forgets their birthday. I know i am one of the millions of couples who feverishly get madly in love and fall into the love spell on valentine’s day.

I heard over the radio the other day, 14th Feb is the day that the guy make the day perfect for the girl and in return, the girl would make 14th march perfect for the guy. 14th march is also known as ” 黑色情人节 “ but how many people actually knows about this day ???

People would start to question, why can’t everyday be valentine’s day? why is it only on valentine’s day you are sweet to me? well for the case of most guys they would usually spend the extra effort making the day special. In my case i am guilty as pronounced.

For me i am not having valentine’s day as a form of celebration, i am doing it as a form of appreciation. This is a little appreciation for my other half. I am sure there are moments where she would very much feel so upset that if there was an earthquake, she would have no mood to run away and look for cover. There were also times where she would be so pissed with me that the whole world seems to be standing in her line of fire.

I wanted to cool down her pent up anger and cheer up her bucket of tears wept over the whole course of our relationship. So i thought a spa would be the right way to cure it all. Within the 3 hours of pamper would be enough to let any bygones rest in peace.

AND of course to commemorate this day of “forgetting” it would be nice to have our pictures take professionally. But to look nice for the camera, we would first get our hair done the professional way. So that was what we did. have our hair done, photos taken, nice dinner and to tie things off a sweet boat ride down Singapore river.

Well something did happen after dinner, i usually get tired and grouchy after dinner and well i kinda lost my patience a bit. my other half is always so patient and understanding when it comes to this things. =)..hope i made your day great.

PS: can’t wait for the pictures

GUYS vs L . O . V . E – meaning

AS you know, guys are not hard wired in our minds to really put our heart and mind into sitting down and plan for this special day. We are GUYS for crying out loud, if given the chance we would slack our butt off and put everything off till the last minute. Which ever guy in their logical minds would put down everything that they are doing, stop and think about that valentine’s day.

Just the other day i was watching the sitcom “two and a half men” and they had a this girl over for dinner after dinner was done, none of them wanted to do the dishes and left the poor girl to wash up. Well so much for a date ! We are guys for crying out loud, whenever you tell us your problems we take it that you want us to solve your problems. Because that is what we do best ! We would of course feel more accomplished if the problem is solved because of us.

BUT girls girls girls !! i still believe that there are some sensitive and caring guys out there, the dream of every girl. The perfect gentleman, even a mistake from him seems like it is a work of art. His jokes no matter how lame it is always get to make you laugh, his little wink would always make you go GA GA all over and boy don’t let me start with his personality and his sensuality, the sense of security that is in place and the things that he is willing to do for you OH BOY…its making me sweat just thinking about it. Is it hot in here or is it just me???

What i believe that although the world is filled with girls and guys, one day you would come across someone who would treat you just the way you want to be treated and by all means GRAB that chance and never let go. A rejection in one place would just mean an acceptance in another. What is the worst that could happen ? a reply : “NO JERK OFF…*smack*” well that would happen if you are half drunk while taking piss on the floor.

I have been in and out of various relationships, and boy when i say that there are sharks out there you better believe it. I did come a long way of trial and error, to really be competent in a relationship i believe the key is communication. Every single word to be told nothing to hide, if asked who was that or where are you going, THIS is not controlling it is just questions of concern !! i would not be who i am today if not for my past.

But the question still remains what love really is? my the other half says its me. Well i am flattered, but that is not answering the question. She just says that because the question is too vague and that there are too many answers to this one simple question. Because love is so difficult to describe BUT finally i stumbled upon the answer, and guess what its from the bible.

LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1corinthians 13:4

Where else does it better explain what love really means?

After reading that short excerpt, i realized that i was guilty of a few things. I am not saying that i do not trust my the other half or protecting or being patient or kind. But i am guilty of not showing it to my family. i am still human by the way just in case you few blundering idiots failed to notice. I have my temper too, and i am really really trying my best to calm down and think and not being to insensitive.

Of course i lost my temper at my other half a couple of times, and of course let the misunderstandings get worst because i did not want to open my BIG mouth to say whatever caused me to go Bananas. I am still learning and i am really glad and appreciative that she is still hanging on to me. she really deserve a round of applause, *Clap, Clap*.

SO i would really reward her on valentine’s day. To a relaxing day at at the SPA also to remember this special day i have organized our photos to be taken professionally. Ending the day off with dinner ! viola~ This is to thank her for sticking in with me through the thick and thin. cheers you deserve it.

when God is smiling on me…

This week is a wild roller coaster ride, nothing seemed right and well everything seems to be jumping in the wrong direction, Tantrums, mood swings, anger, laughter, joy, love and of course HAHA…

But there is really a few things to be smiling about and that is i am finally able to get back to my normal routine, heading to the gym on 1, 3, 5 swimming on 2, 4 and running during the weekends. It really feels good to have my life back on track, There were some reasons that caused me to deviate from my routine. First it was that i hurt my wrist and also the horrendous fall from the bicycle while in Ubin with Bin and Wilson. Next is of course the addition of another person into my life, this is both bitter sweet. Some things have to be sacrificed to really make this to work i won’t mention what but i really think that it was worth it and on my part i really need to be stable emotionally. *HINT : girls are GREAT thinkers* Finally now i am able to mold my routine into her BZ work load. It sure takes a lot of patience and trial and error but finally i am able to do it as of course this is not the end for i do not plan to end it here we still have a long road to walk many chapters to be written.

But with this new addition into my life, i really feel more matured and sensible. My perspective has really widen give and that is really important and so is communication. It really feels like there are nothing that we could not talk about. Even more sensitive issues such as $$, passion and lifestyle are all topics put out on the table. Communication is the key, i can feel the need of my presence, i have made my presence into laughter and joy. I know my presence is able to correct all pain and fill all holes. i feel your need, and i am glad of that.

You made God smile on me and for that i thank you, my angel.

happy hour

Tonight’s drink : water.

It’s raining in around my place this few days, and it’s a peaceful sort of rain. As if home is so inexperienced with weather, it doesn’t know how to have a proper storm. A little jingle from a wind chime here, a little puddle on a street corner there, and -look out- it’s getting wild and woolly. It’s sort of endearing.

A lot has changed this past few months. Enough to make it feel as if before were another life. In some sense, it was for me. I feel like I have died, gone to hell, and rose from the dead to get here now.

Recently i was reading NEWSWEEK and the are running a story about research from a London scientist concerning intelligence of the sexes. Adrian Furnham studies perceived intelligence.

HE SAYS he found that “women, across the world, tend to underplay their intelligence, while men overstate it. Men are more confident about their IQ. These studies show that on average, women underestimate their IQ scores by about five points while men overestimate their own IQs. Since these studies were international in scope, the results were essentially the same whether women were from Argentina, America, Britain, Japan or Zimbabwe.” Not only that, but Furnham says that both genders tend to believe that their fathers are smarter than their mothers and grandfathers are more intelligent than their grandmothers. And guess what? Parents tend to think their sons are brighter than their daughters.”

The really funny part is that this perception of greater ability is probably allowing underperforming men to beat smarter women for jobs.

“Men aren’t more clever or smarter. But since they think they are, they are more confident about their abilities. These self-beliefs, however, may be highly adaptive. Who gets a job? A bright woman who doesn’t think she’s smart, or a not-so-bright man who believes he’s capable of anything? Arrogance and hubris are not attractive qualities, but confident, self-belief may be.”

SO GUESS WHAT CHARLOTTE !! i am smarter that you although you might be smarter than me… !

special “恋爱”…

Don’t forget memories, but don’t let memories hold you in the past when you have a perfectly good future with me. What it means to indulge, you choose me from the rest because i am different from the rest of the others in the queue. It started out with a mere crush, and here we are writing pages with new entries every time our eyes meet. I might not be the best looking, might not be the cutest, i might not be the smartest, but i am sure i am the one who cares the most. I did not fell in love with your looks, i did not fall in love with your numerous talents, neither did i fall in love with what u have. But i actually realised i fell in love with you as time went by.

I am not able to give you a tangible answer as to why i liked you, but as days passed i realised that there are more to meet the eye with you. With you, it is like a bag of secrets when i put my hand in, and try to pull out something, it would always be different. You heart is like a bottomless pit until now i am not able to see the end of it. When i hope to be your personal diary, it seems to be a lot of difficulty to write on me. I believe it take time to open up, but will time her if you are not trying?

Remember “FOOTPRINTS”? the foot prints on the sand. why would you choose to walk alone when it is easier to lean on me. There is a difference with being selfless and selfish, there might not be much i can do, if you tell me your problems. But at least i can listen. If me being here and you do not feel supported in any way, at least let me feel that you need me.

Seeing you is never enough, after a goodbye, i feeling of miss is quick to fill the void where you should be, and so right now as i am typing this entry. I am missing you right now, Finally i have tear for you, ask me why i will tell you.

To understand the truth you have to be the truth

When people of all walks of life congregate at an area, we call this a gathering. When a couple whisper sweet nothings, it is known as flirting. To some it might be groggy and over the top. But to the people involved it is sweet, wonderful and passionate.

We are all clear with the phrase “nice guys finish last”, was reading Robin’s blog awhile back and saw the post on nice guys. I admit i was guilty of being a nice guy in the past. The more i read it the more i see myself doing it, do we all really have to be jerks to really be noticed by girls?

Pretty girls are so used to people being nice to them, and the are constantly looking for that rebellious, hard to get tough guy. Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a “lets get together for coffee” date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be “friends”, in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a “date”.

You see the difference. Nice guys are full of insecurity, INSECURITY IS NOT SEXY !!! – ITS A TURN OFF. Girls want to see your passions, they want to see what you can do to boost her position on the social ladder and mark my words, girls would and could climb over walls to get that perfect guy.

NICE GUYS are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her, and when things become too much of a burden the guy breaks down and think that he cannot take it anymore, *POOF* goes the relationship.

I am not saying do not be the nice guy, but once in a while we need a nice guy in all of us. Girls need to feel needed too, they need the feel that you love them more than anything else in the world. You need to stroke their Huge EGO, But we need to revert back that not every time we can give in. Logic must still come first and we have to understand our needs before we can go on the fulfill the needs of others. We must know when to give, when to show our temper *not too much* and when to whisper sweet nothings.

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who had, can and would love her just as much in her past, present and will love her just as much in the future. Thus it all boils down to whether you are able to show her what difference you are to other guys.

You don’t have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.